Hidden...

I recently had a talk with some people about *Cue dramatic music* WHY I'M STILL SINGLE!!!

The questions ranged from, How old are you now?? Are you dating anyone? Why aren't you dating?? Don't you want to date? How embarrassing is that going to be if your younger siblings get married before you?? (Too late LOL)

As these questions came at me like darts to a dart board, i wanted to shout... YOU THINK I DON"T REALIZE THIS?? You think I don't realize how old I am? You think I like being single?? Do you honestly think that I don't think of the fact that I'm one of the older siblings and my younger siblings are married??

My heart sank, and i tried to do what I think i do best..FAKE THE FUNK!!! I just started laughing and just joking around saying... Well, look what I have to work with? That didn't work.. so plan B, act like you got a text message that's really urgent. Sorta worked but not really.

One of them did say, "Oh its cause you're not attracted to the FOB's" and DAMN straight I'm not... Not cause of their broken English but because the way they joke when they talk to "American" girls is absolutely FILTHY!!! How do I know.. Let me tell you...

My number was given to a good family friend and he wanted to give it to his nephew in Tonga. He would text evey now and then, I would text back (OMG my phone bill was crazy). He would call around 2AM (time difference) and I would look at my phone like.. HELL NAH.. I gotta get up for Zumba. Finally he'd call and just talking and they way they joke was not what I needed and definitely not what I was looking for. I kept talking to him cause, well, it was a family friend who wanted us to get together. Although I didn't feel anything when I was talking to him, I kept at it hoping that things would change.. OH THEY CHANGED ALRIGHT. One night I got a FACEBOOK message from him saying "Lee I'm sorry, I just want to be honest with you.. but me and MY GIRLFRIEND are planning on getting married in June 20113..." Yeah I didn't reply.

So I did give the FOB guys a chance but I'm just so OUT OF THE DATING LOOP i really don't know how to handle it. I Pray for help in this situation cause Seriously, Nobody wants to be lonely!!!!

However, I find comfort in my patricartichal blessing that says I'll be married. I'm not sure when that time is, hopefully soon but all I can do is try not to keep my heart so hidden, but try to more fully enjoy the journey. I do want to be married someday.. But WITH THE RIGHT AUTHORITY, IN THE RIGHT PLACE, AT HIS TIME!!!

Til then, I'll try to convince my heart to not be so hidden.

Live, Laugh, Love
Lee